Friday, September 16, 2016

Hiding From Youtube

I have recently decided to take my videos off of youtube. I have been struggling with making this decision for a long time. To be honest, I really do not feel comfortable with what I have put out there.  One of the reasons it has taken me so long to make this decision is because some people have commented on how it has helped them or help inspire them to get back into shooting film. Which is awesome ,really, but I am not so sure I actually like the videos I made or put out there. I really think I could do better.
My videos are not the highest quality and that upsets me a little. I feel like I could do much better with the limited equipment I have but I just didn't put in the effort. When I had started to make these videos, I was not sure if I was going back to college or not. I have since decided to be college bound and have started focusing on just that. As you can tell, I am not often posting on my blog as much and my ability to produce new art is also limited. This is mostly due to me going back to school and trying my best to focus on it. I have extreme anxiety sometimes and can only manage one thing at a time.

With that said, if you have been following me or checking out my blog often, you may have noticed I have not shot any 35mm or 120mm in the past couple of months. Or really since I have been in the Japan. There are many reasons for this. One is that I no longer have a place close by to where I live to process film. I either have to pay a incredible high price to ship film out for processing or I have to drive across town to the only place that does 1hr color. This can be very time consuming and really out of my way.  I miss Tokyo because I could easily walk down the street to get film processed. It was so easy to do but it has become so difficult here in my hometown to do.
This is not do to me not liking photography anymore or not creating new images. In fact, I miss it. I really miss the convince of having Walgreens developing for me and being able to shoot about 2 rolls a month. Now I am lucky to managed one every 3 or 4 months. I have since been relying on polaroids to do the job for me. By the time I would pay for processing and the cost of  film, I come out way cheaper just buying Polaroid film. I love taking polaroids anyways, so it all works out.
I would really love to post more and redo all my videos but now is not the time. I go to school currently on Mondays and Wednesdays. Then, on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays I am at work. That gives me the weekend to decompress and catch up on my homework and maybe do something fun one day. Lately, my boyfriend and I have been working at local events over the weekend with his silkscreen business.
I really hope everyone understands. I am trying my best though, to produce more art and making more of an effort to carry and buy polaroid film more often. I will still be posting often here as much as I can. Until then, thank you so much to all the followers on youtube. I never thought I would reach 400!