Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Anxiety


I have been spending most of my time alone in my room studying. I have so much history to read, Japanese grammar and vocabulary to learn and  well.. math. I found myself crying over making a D on a practice math midterm the other day in the mist of things. The 52 question test gave me the worst headache by number 20. Note also that my whole math class is online. And that is the only option we have for math. I wanted to give up not take it and I seriously was thinking about quitting college all together because of math. I absolutely detest math. I have been experiencing so much stress and anxiety over the class I can hardly function with out breaking out into tears.  My skin is taking another beating again due to all the stress. I have started to break out all on my face and my jaw is in such pain. I feel like I can hardly talk or eat due to my jaw pain. One night while sleeping, I felt my jaw lock up in the most painful bind. I woke up with out being able to move it. Which is quite frightening, while you are trying to relax and sleep the previous day away. The three day break because of Labor day was no help to me at all. I feel as if I am behind on everything even though I am really not. I feel a need to study twice as long and harder to make up for the lost time. The only thing that has been making me the least bit functional is writing down exactly everything I need to do that day in a planner and doing yoga. Organization and meditation. The only two things that seem to work. Oh and hot tea... yeah hot tea is nice and relaxing. I am hoping so badly for things to slow down a bit. I feel as though I am moving too fast to catchup.